As 2019 draws to a close, I find myself with a lot on which to reflect.

There has been much to celebrate: I was invited to speak at a major conference in Spain, I’ve had two articles accepted by important journals, and my teaching continues to go well. I even wrote a blog post about precarity which has now been seen 1891 times (an enormous number of views for this blog!).

But there has been a significant disappointment, which really outweighs all the positive things about this year.

I didn’t get the job I wrote about in my Academic Endgame post.

I knew that the odds were never in my favour. Even when I got an interview, there was still only a 1 in 5 or 6 chance I would get the job. But up to that point, there was always hope. Now, there is very little of that. Because it’s not just about the one job, it’s about my whole academic future (or lack of it). To be honest, disappointed doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.

So the question for 2020 is where to go from here. I’m not able to up sticks and move to take a job anywhere, so my academic options are pretty limited. There is one more iron in the fire (and it’s such a long shot we can barely see the target) before I have to have a complete rethink about my future. And I’m not looking forward to that.